Ride and/or Die

I'm glad that dad doesn't really get the synergy between 'checking on family' and 'using google to do it,' otherwise it's going to be a constant refrain of I Told You So. 'Hi honey, haven't spoken in awhile, you still working in insurance? And I Told You So.'

So I was riding my bike and finally had a chance to really push it. All the hype about electric engines, they're true and satisfying and I can't imagine going back; it's like black cock except true. The torque is just incredible and every pound of it is just roaring right there. Not exactly roaring. Okay I'm thinking I might take out the engine noise speakers but also maybe not, because even sitting on it and going that fast was a little spooky.

But eventually I did eat shit and crash, kind of. It's a little hard to put together in retrospect but now there's a few ounces of flesh I used to have that I don't anymore. Always wear your helmet. On the brighter side this is the most weight I've lost since freshman year.

And thinking about it I really hope dad doesn't look me up anywhere on the internet, let alone google.

I need to get a pet or something. There's all this weird shit out in the water and I think it's just a matter of time before something gets inside. Rats or seagulls or whatever lives out there. I'm not a marine biologist.

But I'd feel like shit if I got a cat I guess. It'd just sit inside all day and I'm never home anyway (seriously I think I'm going to flip shit if Janie tells me all about how she's working so many hours come on bitch (love you) last time I had a day off I nearly committed a felony) so I don't think that'll work. I love the job but the hours must be pretty hard on anyone with shit to take care of, like kids, or cats. See?

Even if I want to be a weird spinster I'm going to need to stack up serious seniority before I can get proper started on the crazy amounts of cats.

Dogs are out too since the place is tiny as hell, but it's mine. And the beach is to die for (hah). I'd rather fill my purse with rocks than a toy poodle, then it's just me that sinks when I walk out into the waves.

Maybe I'll get a snake.