Okay so it's 2019 for sure now. I mean all props to the Gregorian calendar but getting a consensus on when the year starts is important. Plus it's the year of the pig (Preemptive FUCK YOU Ash, jerk, you know I rock this <3) so I guess.. no more scrapple this year. Easy enough; it's all choice cuts and grudging acceptance of struggle food from down south out here.
So.. top five of what they do right out here, top five of what gets completely wrecked out here.
1) Mac and Cheese. This is top spot because I am genuinely surprised anyone north of the Mason Dixon could pull this shit off. 'Artisinal' pasta and chunky gouda works so well.
2) Sushi. This is kind of a bye round. Yeah you better have good sushi with how close Japan is, relatively. But good on you, Cally, you managed to not grind away the immigrant tradition.
3) Menudo. 'Hey you know the part of the pig the shit goes through? Toss that in some broth.' That's how crazy it is to ask for but every time it's on the menu, I am completely floored by how good it is. Rich and earthy.
4) Sauvignon. Wine is a food. Fight me.
5) Stuffed chilis. Pick up your average habanero and consider how much could go in that. Not much, right? Just raw fucking heat the whole way through. But it is irresistible.
Now for the bad.
1) Pizza. No. Stop. California what are you doing this is a tomato stew.
2) Roast beef. The fixation on presentation kills you here. I don't want a beef confit. Fresh baked rolls are a drawback when they're so spongy they dissolve.
3) Hot wings. It is not that hard. You mix a thick vinegar sauce into a shitload of butter and then the magic happens. And you fry it.
4) Pizza. I mean goddamn this is not rocket science stop trying to make gummy bears work.. but for real, the 'humble' calzone. Ricotta. This isn't what you ask for to maintain image, this is what you order to satisfy horrific cravings. Come on. Guilt food shouldn't be moderated with whisper-thin crust and piss-weak peppers.
5) Sub sandwiches. It's a sub. You don't have the cred to call it a grinder, or a hoagie, or a blimpie. Stop fronting, Cally.
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